“Dancing Queen(s)”

Why is it girls make better dancers than boys?

In any club, party or dancehall (God this shows my age!) girls always look more at ease, relaxed and free to express themselves. Men look awkward, unsure and frankly, embarrassed! In my male mode I couldn’t dance to save my life! But put me in a short floaty dress, with too much makeup on, high, but not too high heels and crank up my stereo playing rock and roll music (That’s what your parents liked many, many years ago!) and I became a dancing queen. Ok, I only have limited moves, a dodgy knee and bad taste in music but I do try my darlings!

So apart from the fact that dancing enables girls to flirt with boys, allows them to show their personality and basically have lots of fun, what other benefits are there? Well, dancing is good low impact exercise, gets your heartrate up (Ignore this bit if you have a dodgy ticker!) It also loosens up your hips and joints. Men are notorious for having rigid hips with no flexibility. Watch the judges on ‘Strictly’ that criticise male celebs for having no “figure of 8” hip movement in the Latin dances.

So, when I am in “Angie” mode I like to dance. I am on my own, headphones on and watch myself in a full-length mirror. The first time I was very self-conscious. I got a large gin and tonic, and it became a bit easier. I could feel the beat and tapped my foot to it, I then stood there and wondered what else I could move. I don’t imitate anyone; I just move various bits of my body to the beat. I don’t care what I must look like, but it would be nice if it looked a bit ‘girly!’. As someone who dreamt of being in ‘Pans People’ dance group (ask your dad who they were!) I had an inkling of what to do. To be fair, they were crap dancers but at least they could shake their bits about and had gorgeous costumes and heels! I became quite good a dancing, which surprised me! Plus, it was a good excuse to dig out my old LPs from the 1970’s (younger readers should ask parents what LPs were).

Could I dance in a modern club to modern music? No. Could I dance in a retro club playing 1970s music? Yes. Could or would I go to a festival? No, or yes if it was ‘status quo’ or similar.

The feeling of freedom that comes from moving your body to a rhythm is ancient as native dancing to a guy beating a log with a stick. Why? I have no idea, just in our DNA or genes or something, I just do it! In place of a stick and log, think drum and bass with a couple of Gibson or Fender Guitars, creating tribal rock and roll music for middle aged trans girls like me to dance! Rock and roll are meant to be danced to; it is it’s ‘Raison d’être’ as the French say. It is not meant to be listened to on the bus or a train. Dancing started as a means of attracting a mate, and still is as far as I know.

Wet look stockings

For trans girls it is a way of expressing our inner femininity and by loosening our bodies, enables us to walk and carry ourselves in a realistic girlie manner. Anyway, Trans-girls and real girls try dancing on your own, in the dark with a friend, in your bedroom, in a club, anywhere! Just pop a frock on, some big heels, have a drink and shake your ass!! You may actually enjoy it!


pride nails

Nails. Nails, along with eyes and lips are symbols of femininity that woman and trans girls always try to get right. Long, smooth, slender fingers really need to have fabulous (RED!) nails to make you look and feel great.

For years I have been buying loads and loads of bottles of nail polish. I have tried false nails that stick on with tabs, they fall off! I have tried glue-on’s which look and feel amazing but are a bugger to get off and mess up your own real nails beneath! Hmmm?? What to do? Its obvious! A nail salon at a beauty parlour! right I will book it! I phoned and told them I wanted to come. I told them I was trans and did they mind? I almost felt apologetic. I felt I was being a nuisance. But then, I was just another customer, wasn’t I?

A week later I parked my care nearby, walked 100 yards or so (sorry metres, I am very old!) This sort of thing would not normally be a problem, but I was wearing 3-inch heeled sandals, stretched jeans, tight leather jacket, carrying a shoulder bag and with a face visor. (Didn’t want to smudge my makeup darlings!) I felt on cloud 9! I still had to walk along a main road and past a carwash to get there though, oh, sod it! I decided to give the world a glimpse of my “Angie walk!2 so, walking slowly, with my small steps, I exaggerated dropping my hips with each pace. Feet placed one directly in front of the other, arms loose and gently swaying, head up, but eyes down, don’t want to go arse over tits darling! So, embarrassing!! And with my girlie hand jangling my keys. Made it! No cars hooted at me, no wolf-whistles. I obviously hadn’t aroused the lust of any passing “white van guys!” Bugger! Maybe next time, eh!

I went inside. Several lovely young ladies were expecting me. “Is it Angie?” one enquired. “Yes, it is” I replied in my grisliest voice. Other clients were being seen to. I sat and waited; legs crossed in true girlie fashion. I did my dangling foot stretch and circling, walking in heels make your feet stiff and doing it does look gorgeous!

“Come in Angie” she said. I sat and she asked what I wanted, false or just a polish?  “Just a shape and polish please”, “what colour?”, “oh, bright red please” (obviously!)

It was all new to me. New fabulous and sexy. When it was all done, I stared at my hands and smiled. And yes, I got a bit emotional. She smiled back and could see what a happy girl I was. They were a thing of beauty, feminine, graceful and ladylike. I could see why ladies love this. You feel a little bit better about yourself. Just a small treat but it makes such a huge difference. “Next time I will get my toes done too!” I thought, and I did! Ok, pay the lady (plus tip!) gather up my stuff and out into the sunshine. Birds sang, cars looked shiny, clouds parted, happy children laughed and played, somewhere a heavenly choir sang! Ok, maybe none of these things happened, but they could have! I walked back to my car with an extra spring in my step. My fabulous hips swayed even more, and my keys were jangled even louder.

A quick ciggy, then off to Marks and Spencer’s where I could show off my nails proudly with every item plucked from the shelves and freezers. Job done. Work tomorrow, where the ladies will admire my new nails and ask where I had them done. “What colour was it?” “How much did they cost?” “Were you not nervous?” Such fun! But they all know I am trans and don’t mind.

This, my dear reader, is what being trans is all about. We are not woman. We will never be women. We cannot truly feel how woman feel. There is a part of us that would love to though. Elegant, Feminine, girlie and very, very special. We are individual, unique even and amazing. Oh, and very lucky too! Now is the best time ever to be trans. This was not the case 40, 30 or even 20 years ago. Back then we could have never dreamt any of this were possible. We would have stayed indoors, never dared to go out in public, kept it all quiet, didn’t tell anyone. But now, look out world! These strange, wonderful, beautiful creatures are coming out (Literally!) and heading to a beauty salon near you! Please welcome us even if you don’t understand us, we don’t bite, unless you want us to that is!


If you would like to find a trans support group in your area, check out Trans Unite website here.